perfectmidnightworld:

AnCo & P4K Split!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears that after 10 years of blessing every Animal Collective full length with a best new music tag, Pitchfork has decided to finally give the band a 7.4, or a straight C on their most recent report card. 

When reached for comment, Pitchfork’s reps confirmed that they did in fact break up with Animal Collective last month and have been quietly dating Passion Pit in recent weeks. Animal Collective are reportedly so inconsolable that as of late, they can barely be bothered to beat on tin cans and drums while yelping loudly over abstract samples of themselves beating on slightly larger tin cans as Panda Bear yelps softly. Reps for the band asked that the band’s privacy be respected during this difficult time.  

When Brooklyn was reached for comment it said “Animal Who? Those guys are so 2007, they don’t even play their own tin cans anymore! And Pitchfork can -”  the city then vomited violently upon it’s hand stitched sandals before climbing atop and then speeding off on an oversized unicycle, drinking a tall boy PBR and shouting something about Azelia Banks. 

We’ll keep you informed as the story progress.